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Recently, I read an article in US Magazine that stated actor David Boreanaz felt that his affair with former Tiger Woods fling Rachel Uchitel actually strengthened his relationship with his wife, former Playboy playmate, Jaime Bergman. What elements of going outside of your marriage to fulfill a desire results in making the bond in your relationship stronger? I guess I could possibly believe the position that if the man was up front and honest about his reason(s) for cheating that it could serve as a communication platform. If he wasn’t fulfilled in the boudoir maybe his openness about what he and his mistress did could shed some light on what sexually stimulates him. Although, personally, I could not fathom having to endure listening to those portrayals. On another note, he could have stepped out on the marriage because he was not emotionally fulfilled – yes, men do have emotions too. This could help his wife be more attentive to his feelings and be willing to listen to his concerns, fears, and desires.

But, forreal, I don’t think I can see the act of an affair serving to make me and my man closer for a few reasons:

1)  I do not want to even imagine another woman making love to my husband/boyfriend much less have to have an in-depth conversation about what he and his mistress did and how I could alter my sexual technique to mimic hers in order to get him off properly.

2)  I believe that if you are having difficulty in your relationship, the last thing you should do is involve a THIRD party. That just muddies the waters and makes it less about you and your man and more about how you are plotting to hurt him, her, or both.

3)  Personally, I would let him go when I found out about the affair because mentally I do not think I could live through the rest of my relationship having to envision the betrayal that took place. I would always feel like I wasn’t good enough for him and the lack of trust would probably be detrimental to the health of our commitment.

What do you all think? Can an affair help to bring you and your mate closer?


Before I got married I had already set myself to understand that the “I” I used to cherish so much would be morphed into a “We”, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t still struggle with putting my own needs and desires aside sometime to come to a mutual agreement with my husband.

Sometimes you will have to compromise on small things…

For example, a few days ago my mother and I were shopping for new furniture for my and my husband’s new townhouse. We went to several stores and found some items that would look great in my downstairs living room. I was so excited to have some new furnishings because (as you females know) having a sparse and vacant living space is not comfortable. I couldn’t wait to get home and arrange our new findings into a cozy, relaxing display.

When my husband saw the new treasures, he noticed that “my” items would look spectacular in his upstairs “Mancave” (which we later named “Our Office”). At first, I was hesitant. Afterall, me and MY mother went out to hunt for this stuff and if I gave it all to him I would be right back down to the beige carpet and would have to start my shopping adventure all over again. I had to admit, however reluctantly, that the furniture did match his new office desk perfectly and would look great upstairs. I decided after going back and forth in my mind that I would let Hubby take the furniture upstairs. Later that day he moved all of it and the “Manca….Office” looked amazing! And boy was he happy. He thanked me so many times and I could tell by his face that he was so very proud of how the room turned out. So, in turn, that made me happy. If compromising my furniture will put a smile on his face, I am willing to do that. Besides, now I get to shop some more.